it’s a daisy!
i’m not gonna lie…i was really starting to believe that i had grown up a nice little flower pot of only leaves. don’t get me wrong, it was a beautiful bunch of leaves and i continued to love them dearly. i watered them and got them in the sun….i saved them from the freak ice and snow storms that hit dallas this winter….
and then one day…something different started to happen. a group of leaves were growing taller….and then another day, a teeny tiny bud developed…..and then another day….i got my very first bloom!
let’s rewind to the beginning. my sister gave me these daisies as a house-warming present last year (see: growing season)…cause daisies are my favorite and i was moving into my own place and losing her as my roommate (sad). in short, quite a few plans i had made had fallen through and living alone was the only option…and not an option i had intended on. but it was a new start and i wanted to make the best of it…so i went to ikea and bought a beautiful bookshelf and beautiful curtains and of course…i planted my soon to be beautiful daisies.
now, i don’t know much about gardening….so i just loved them with water, a spot in the sun and lots of verbal affirmation…but then (dum dum dum) tragedy struck towards the end of the summer. (see: weeding) so, post “weed attack 2010” i just did my best to keep them alive. i had never planted flowers before…so I wasn’t really surprised that the result seemed to be only leaves. i continued to take care of them as best as i saw fit and can’t say i was terribly disappointed…i was quite content with my little leaves. they marked a significant growing season in my life as well as a difficult weeding season and if nothing else my daisy leaves were a reminder that waiting and contentment are also important life lessons.
truth be told, in the past year God has really done some hard work in my life and on my heart. i have been isolated from the comforts i typically run to, challenged to surrender my own agenda and plan and pulled deeper into a desire to let my heart and will be aligned with the Lord’s. and He has been faithful. He has been faithful to sustain me in my isolation, protect me in my surrender and humble me and my stubborn, controlling heart.
it took nearly a year for those little daisy leaves to muster up a bloom….and it has taken all that time (and surely more) to begin to quiet my anxious tendencies. it has been a year of waiting with my daisies. a year of growing and resting and finding contentment in a plan that i certainly didn’t create for myself. it’s been in this change of pace and slowing down that i have learned to start letting go of my own agenda and began praying to be used in the here and now instead of looking forward to what is…or what i hope to be, around the corner. it’s been in solitude (something i hated the most) that i have learned what waiting on the Lords timing looks like, that my aim is to be dependent on Him alone and also what it feels like when “He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads be beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” -psalm 23
and then that beautiful little bloom came around. how often have i been blind to the blessings in my life because they came quickly and as expected…or even worse, because i thought i brought them on myself in my own doing? oh, how sweet and special that bloom was to me after a year of waiting…and not necessarily even expecting it.
i am thankful for a God who didn’t turn me over to my anxious tendencies, but instead…a God who patiently sat me down and said…”stay here…i have you here, i want you here and i am with you here. that’s all you need to know. once your heart begins to settle down and you have rooted your identity in me, i can give you something beautiful…and it will be lovely. you can cherish it and love it freely because you won’t feel the need to rely on it…because in this time that i had you wait, you have learned to depend on me instead of the bloom.”
2 Corinthians 3:16-18
But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.